Stay Sane while Staying Home
Written by Kristen McCormick, LPC (mental health therapist and YTY program/social media manager in Portland, Oregon)
For us Oregonians, being asked to stay home can feel especially painful. Most of us moved to the Pacific Northwest to live outdoor lifestyles, shop at local stores, and generally be tied into a close community. However, we Pacific Northwesters also pride ourselves on being socially and ethically responsible. Thus, most of us Oregonians (who are not in essential jobs) have transitioned to working at home, staying at home, and generally spending all of our time in our homes.
So, how do we stay sane and healthy under “stay home” restrictions? Here are a few tips:
MENTAL HEALTH TIPS:
PRACTICE MINDFULNESS:
Not in the way that you might be thinking. In this case, mindfulness is about practicing intentional decision-making practices. This tip is at the top of the list because it is the foundation for all my other suggestions. Whatever you do, do it intentionally...with awareness and as a conscious decision. Be completely in the moment, whatever you are doing. If you are binge-ing Netflix, only do that. If you are on the phone with your mom, bring all your attention to that conversation. If you are drinking a glass of wine, savor and experience every delicious drop. You get the drift; sink in and pay attention.
BOUNDARIES:
Mostly, I am talking about news intake. Yes, it is helpful and effective to listen to the news and be aware of what is happening in the world. However, it may not be as effective or healthy to listen to the news 24/7 or find yourself in google search rabbit holes of doom and gloom. We’ve all been there. Just notice if you are there and then STOP. Just stop. Distract, give yourself a break, do something completely different. There is nothing to be gained from causing panic within yourself. Boundaries can also apply to what we can reasonably do during this crisis. Please don’t fall into this pressure of needing to complete every project, keep your house sparkling clean, stay connected with every person in your life, help every person in need, or support every local business. Pick one or none and be gentle on yourself. We are in this together, but good mental health starts with self-care. Remember what they say on airplanes before you take flight? Please place your oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on another, your child or the person next to you. You’ve got to be alive and in good health to take care of others.
GO FORTH GENTLY:
This is a reminder of how to treat yourself and others. Please remember that everyone is experiencing a high degree of stress, regardless of their personal circumstances. Someone may appear to have it better than you because they have a stable job that is minimally affected and they may have other stressors going on that you cannot see. Spread a little kindness...say hi or give a smile as you socially distance yourself while walking by a stranger on the street. Give a nod to others as you are driving to your medical appointment or the grocery store. Be especially kind to healthcare workers, grocery store employees, emergency workers, delivery services, restaurant staff, and anyone who is being asked to work in person in high risk environments. These folks are being asked to work longer hours, work with less resources, and are risking exposure to COVID-19 on a daily basis to keep our community stable. The same goes for yourself. You may be putting pressure on yourself to do more...be more active, productive, or “healthy.” You are entitled to your feelings; you have a right to feel sad, scared, frustrated, annoyed, etc. Allow each emotion to come in and out like a wave in the sea, noticing it and being curious. But don’t hoard your emotions. Remember that stress taxes your immune system, your energy levels, and your bodily health. Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself as well. There are times to feel all the emotions and there are times to cope or manage the emotions; choose wisely. Finally, be kind to your loved ones. Be mindful of the fact that though it is a gift to not be isolated (i.e. have family/partners/children in your home), it can also put a tremendous amount of stress on your relationship. Be careful about judgments and evaluations made about the state of your relationship. Your partner might not be the best version of themselves, your teen might not be the most helpful or engaged, and you might not be meeting your usual expectations of parenting. Be kind, practice patience, and go gently.
RADICAL ACCEPTANCE:
This is all about knowing what you cannot change, accepting the situation or circumstances that you cannot shift, and being aware of the things that you can control or change. If we choose to be in denial of the circumstances, it will add to our misery. If you can accept the events that we cannot control, it will leave more room for seeing the things that we can shift in our lives and bring us more peace in general.
PHYSICAL HEALTH TIPS:
STAY ACTIVE:
I hesitate to add this particular tip because there seems to be a tremendous amount of social pressure to create an intensive, rigorous routine of exercise. I do believe strongly that regular physical activity will improve your sleep, increase your immunity to viruses and bacteria, and increase your overall sense of well-being as well as promote as positive mood. However, please do not over-extend or beat yourself up if you are not engaging in hours of fitness every day. Start small. Take 15-20 minute walks or do a 30-minute stretching/yoga routine at home. Count your physical activity during yard work or longer house projects. Though daily movement will likely feel great and give you strength to continue in light of this global crisis, it is not helpful to judge yourself if you don’t meet the mark every day.
GO OUTSIDE:
Fresh air and sunlight are healing. We need Vitamin D in its natural form to improve immunity, promote a positive mood, and assist with sleep. Again, take walks (being mindful of social distancing), use the time to complete some yard work, or sit on your front porch and wave at neighbors.
EAT WELL, DRINK MODERATELY:
This is a great time to bust out all those recipes that you’ve been meaning to try, plan out your meals more intentionally, and bring your people together for mealtimes. Eat plenty of fruit and veggies, drink lots of water, and minimize the junk food. It can be tempting to drink alcohol or smoke pot to cope with the stress. Y’all are adults; my intention is not to shame anyone who is using these substances to relax at night. I would just encourage folks to do so mindfully and intentionally...and moderately. Be aware if you are drinking or smoking more than usual and do so in a nonjudgmental manner. Be curious. Gently assess whether there is something you can do aside from drinking that 4th glass of wine. Again, no need for self-judgment here. Just circle back to that first tip of practicing mindfulness.
On a final note, we are in this together. There has never been a truer statement. It is one of the first situations in my lifetime that is truly global...that affects all of us humans. There is a comfort in that fact for me...a sense of unity. It’s an interesting dialectic. In our isolation, we are more connected than ever. We are bonded by this crisis, by this pandemic, and by our need to survive it.
In the darkest of circumstances, it is our ability as humans to create meaning that has helped us to survive and thrive. And we will survive.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES & THOUGHTS:
How to Support our PDX community:
1. Order takeout from your fave local restaurants.
2. Buy online products from local vendors (clothes, gifts, etc.).
3. Buy from local grocery stores and co-ops. (Note: Be mindful of grocery stores and their employees. Try to go to grocery stores less often, go alone, and be mindful of the 6ft distancing rule while in the stores).
4. Purchase gift cards for local businesses to use later or for gifts.
5. Write reviews (hey...you’ve got time!) on Yelp, Google, and Facebook.
6. Shout out on social media about your fave businesses and tag them. It inspires hope in the business owners and their employees.
LOCAL SPOTS:
Yoga:
@yogatoyoupdx (offering Skype private and group classes)
@nowyoga_pdx (offering free online classes, go to website for more info)
Fitness:
@girlsgympdx (online kickboxing and COMBAT FIT classes for gym members, live online classes)
@bootyluvfitness (online fitness focusing on the booty, free one month offer)
Food:
@vistaspringpdx (offering take-out daily from 3pm to 8:30pm, locally and family owned)
About the author…
Kristen McCormick, LPC is a mental health therapist providing individual, couples, and family therapy in Portland, OR. She is also the program and social media manager for Yoga to You PDX.